This Guy Fieri Swimsuit Exists and It’s the Stuff of Nightmares

We apologize in advance for what we’re about to show you but it’s our duty, as citizens of the world, to tell you: a Guy Fieri swimsuit exists and it’s the stuff of nightmares.

Is there someone on this planet who has not taken a train or bus or nacho-cheese dipped express to a funky joint in Flavor Town? Well, if you haven’t, met Guy Fieri. The celebrity chef owns multiple restaurants around the U.S. and hosts (among other shows) Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

Fieri gets a lot of flack for what some might call low-brow adventures but truth be told, we like how he talks about food: it’s simple, it’s detailed, it’s honest. That being said, we wouldn’t buy this swimsuit.

The web site that sells it sells all sorts of novelty swimsuits (don’t look, you can’t unsee them and they’re not pretty). This swimsuit, with flaming sunglasses and dumb, dumb, dumb goatee placement sells for $50 plus shipping. Don’t buy it, don’t wear it. Just… don’t.