Starbucks Giving Away New Coffee Drinks for Free This Weekend: Customers Have Mixed Feelings

As if the seductive drink titles weren’t enough, Starbucks is offering customers a twofer from Thursday, March 2 to Monday, March 6 (e.g. buy one macchiato between 2pm and 5pm and get a second macchiato free).

The reaction to Starbucks’ new drinks – the former designed for sweater weather and the latter for Spring – has been nearly 100 percent positive. Obvi, most people like the idea of fun new drinks that are as pretty as they are tasty. But we’re not most people.

In fact, here’s a message from me, Editor of The Latin Kitchen, to the evil coffee empire responsible for sabotaging the diet I was starting tomorrow and ruining my plans for a Spring body reboot:

Thanks, Starbucks. Thanks for being so crafty with coffee that I have to visit you twice, sometimes three times a day, to get my fix of your delicious, likely crack-laced drinks.

Thanks for pillaging my pocketbook with a $100-a-week addiction for which there is no known cure and for which I will soon have to get a second job to subsidize.

Thanks for writing cute little notes on my coffee cup every morning so that I feel special – like, ‘you like me, you really like me’ special – in a city of 4 million people all trying to get a seat on the train.

Thank you for pulling me like the tides every Monday to Friday at 3pm to your Broadway store so that I lose 15 valuable minutes at my desk, which means that instead of going to the gym – because 6:15 is way too late to go the gym – I have to instead stay late at the office then go home to watch The Real Housewives of New York while eating the lemon pound cake I bought from you at 3pm. 

So, yeah, thanks Starbucks for being totally irresistible. You’re like a dysfunctional relationship that I can’t break off. To quote my favorite movie, “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

But since I don’t, I’ll see you tomorrow for a Coconut Milk Mocha Macchiato. And the next day for two Iced Cinnamon Almond Milk Macchiatos. And the next day for a Vanilla Macchiato. And the next day for a hot Cinnamon Almond Milk Macchiato. And the next day… And the next day… And the next day…