Behold the Crotch Pot

Behold: the Crotch Pot. Yeah, you read that right. This astonishing product comes from a company called Gossamer Gear, which sells hiking equipment. And they believe you can make dinner using heat generated from your… private areas.

Yeah, we feel gross and awkward too. The $19 pouch is made an ultra-lightweight, high performance fabric, called cuben fiber. It can hold a one-quart Ziploc bag that you fill with water and ingredients and then tuck “directly against your skin” while you hike. After a few hours, your meal will be cooked. And hopefully won’t be so grossed out that you can’t eat it.

On its website, Gossamear Gear says that:  “Infrared images of the human body confirm what is basically common knowledge: one of the hottest parts of the human body is the crotch area. Your body naturally generates significant heat while hiking; why not harness this heat for a warm dinner?” Gossamer also suggests you knead the meal discretely while walking to mix things well. (Don’t do that.)

The target audience here is hikers and backpackers who need to pack all their gear and move from place to place. A Gossamer spokesperson told Munchies that people love it.

Huh. Well. We could see it working for oatmeal. But does your junk generate enough heat to cook a chicken? We don’t know. We’ll just pack snacks. Or not hike. Yeah, that’s the better idea.