Oprah Winfrey Making Stealthy Supermarket Moves

You get a car! You get a car! And you get a … frozen food line!!

That’s right, Oprah Winfrey, the Queen of Talk Shows (the Queen of Everything, our sincerest apologies to Bey), has filed trademark paperwork for a line of foods called Oprah’s Kitchen.

The application covers basically anything and everything you could find in a supermarket (dairy, meat, fish, processed, and preserved foods, even fresh fruit and energy drinks) as well as a line of Oprah Bacon (!), baked beans, sorbet, pickles, canned fish, and even caviar.

If you’ve followed Oprah over her career, and who hasn’t?, you know this isn’t O’s first foray into food or lifestyle. She’s long publicized her struggles with weight and eating well, she’s open about her dedication to Weight Watchers (in fact last year she spent $43 million to buy 10 percent of the brand), she has a lifestyle magazine, and is BFFs with plenty of chef and lifestyle gurus that have now gone on to start their own brands (like Nate Berkus and Rachael Ray).

And if you’re thinking a frozen tv dinner with Oprah’s face on the box just won’t fly, we ask you to consider Oprah’s history of all out astonishing success. Perhaps you’ve heard of a little group called Oprah’s Book Club? A small seal announcing a book was Oprah’s next pick almost always shot it to the top of the bestseller list.

Though she may have some competition, from the very experts she’s groomed (like Ray), we trust that Oprah has that golden touch. To the tune of a $3.2 billion net worth. (In case you’re wondering, Beyonce clocks in at a cool but not even close $256 million). So, send some boxes our way, Ms. Winfrey. We’ll start with the bacon.